you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
