i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
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She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
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I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
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