Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
