she sounds like chewbacca in bed
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
