we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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