Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
