We're like a lot better than the average bears
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
