I wish I only lived at night.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
