so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Never joke about your clitoris.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize