these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize