I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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