Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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