So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
where are my eyebrows?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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