first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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