So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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