i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize