nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
