suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
