is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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