I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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