No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
