Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Found your dick twin last night
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
