I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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