sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
