just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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