Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
