i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
