so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I think pants incapable of making pants work
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
