That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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