3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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