i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
