Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
