Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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