I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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