Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
