how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
