Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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