so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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