i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
