Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
