Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
