You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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