dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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