if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Less talking, more tequila
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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