I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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