He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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