well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize