i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
