38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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