His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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