Welp...herpes.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
