Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
