your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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