didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
