Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It's official drugs can't kill me
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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