I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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