plz talk dirty to me
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Couch. On fire.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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