brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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