Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
